sad news...

I'm not even really sure how to even begin this blog. Usually I have soo many things to say I just have to figure out how I want to say them, but not now... I figure maybe if I just ramble on about it for a little while the right words would eventually come so bare with me. I debated on whether or not I should even blog about what I'm going to put in this post, but after careful consideration I decided to just go with it. Considering I treat my blog as if it were a journal of events taking place in my life and this is one that I won't forget I felt that I needed to include it. As I said in my last post I love my sisters soo soo much and everything they go through in life affects me as well. I feel so connected to them. This is why my heart totally broke three days ago when I got the text from Janeane that told me her unborn baby didn't have a heartbeat and had stopped growing five weeks ago. It's been three days and the feeling is returning even now as I'm typing this post. I can't imagine sitting there watching someone give you an ultrasound being so excited to see how big your baby has grown and then hearing the words, "I can't find a heartbeat". That was my worst fear during both my pregnancies and she had to live it. It just sucks all the way around. It's sad that my sister and her husband even had to go through this when there are people out there that are choosing to abort their babies and they would have done anything to keep theirs. Yesterday they put her under and took the baby out. How empty she must have felt waking up knowing it was over. She did everything she could to have a healthy baby and all of her blood work came back looking great. They told her it wasn't anything she did that these things just happen. They also told her they happen way more often than you would think, but knowing how common it is doesn't make it feel any better. She's doing ok though. Obviously she's sad and bummed that they won't be bringing a baby home in October, but she's holding it together so well and her let's get through it and move on attitude is completely inspiring. There are worse things that could have happened and this was what God had in store, it's just hard to accept it. I know they will get the baby they've been wanting so bad and when they do it will be such a great day and their love for that baby will be that much more special.